Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
