yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
