ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im having a threesome with these popsicles
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
my liver is dry heaving
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
