big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
