I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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