There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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