is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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