Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
