seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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