In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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