i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
