It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
