what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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