You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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