I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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