True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
