absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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