glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
