I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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