he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dick very happy bro
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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