You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
