Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
