So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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