Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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