Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
