1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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