I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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