Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
