I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
