He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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