How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Randomize
