you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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