why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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