SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think my moral compass just broke
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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