wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
