Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i think i just lost a toe
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
