their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
