don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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