Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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