do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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