I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
