Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
