That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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