i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
