she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
