Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
