she was so not down for the gang bang
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
