Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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