When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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