I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
